The Trouble With Starcraft 2

Starcraft 2 is another one of those ubiquitous blockbuster games that everyone absolutely loves, including critics.

But, the problem is, I don’t love Starcraft 2. I don’t even want to play it. “Why the hell not?” I hear the disembodied voices of offended PC gamers say. Well, I just don’t like RTSs. Pure and simple. The disembodied voices are probably even more confused by now, how exactly can someone claim to hate an entire genre of games?

I gave RTSs a chance. I even fooled myself into thinking I absolutely loved Red Alert 2. Maybe I really did love good ol’ RA2, but it got to a point where I couldn’t play them anymore. I guess it comes down to multi-tasking or micro-managing, whatever the hell you want to call it. I would focus far too deeply on one aspect of the game, completely abandoning my other units and structures, left to die at the hands of a 14 year old Korean boy with far too much free time on his hands and not enough inclination to masturbate.

This deep focus, however unwanted, practically crippled me in every RTS I played. It didn’t matter if I was playing online or in single player, my inability to focus on several areas meant the minute something even remotely challenging came my way, I’d almost surely lose.

During the release of Portal and the ensuing community and media hoopla, I witnessed a few forum users complaining about the idea of the game, saying things like “Portals? Like I give a fuck, that sounds fucking stupid. What’s that? Oh, that dent on my head is from crushing beer cans.” I didn’t understand it at the time, Portal was such a fantastic game, the idea that anyone could hate it, nay, reject the idea of it entirely was completely out of the question. They were simply fools, morons, philistines.

But I understand now. My outright rejection of what is most likely the epitome of the genre would probably infuriate anyone of intelligence and an all encompassing love for video games. We wannabe videogames critics like to believe that taste accounts for nil and objective critiques are always possible, but they’re not. Sometimes, we just hate something. No amount of debate can change that.



Filed under games

3 responses to “The Trouble With Starcraft 2

  1. Josh

    Ultimately you’ve got to make the choice between avoiding the game completely or spending countless hours watching Youtube strategy videos learning how to defend against cheese attacks. A choice between possibly offending a group of gamers (and Blizzard lovers at that) or being harrassed by those very same gamers for being ‘such a n00b’.

    And you still won’t ever get into the same league as the 14 year old Korean.

  2. I believe I’ll just pretend they don’t exist. Starcraft 2? What’s that? Some sort of topical lotion?

  3. Sam

    People don’t seem to get it when I say exactly this.

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